i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I need a beard to bite.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
