We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
do nipples grow back?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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