P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
where does the pee come out of this thing
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize