Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize