so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
