she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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