Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
