sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
