apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
