i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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