Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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