so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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