Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Randomize
