There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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