We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
