Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
You took a bar mat shot.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
