She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
