Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
