he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
