there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
