Don't you send me to vm
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
