he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Randomize
