But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
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