I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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