I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
