I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize