I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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