Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize