I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
