Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
