there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
