We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
