I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
