I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
She announced her abortion via fbk
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
