I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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