he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
