think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
