Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
