Your mouth is God's brothel.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
