dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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