Sponge bath it is.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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