Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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