this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
