he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
