Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
