Are we in a gay sports bar?
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
