Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize