Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
