he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Randomize
