dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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