I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I could have mohawked her pubes.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Randomize
