Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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