so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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