Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
