I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Bring me that man meat
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
