people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
You took a bar mat shot.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
