Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
