in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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