ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize