i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
