ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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