I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I have peed in a lot of sinks
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
