it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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