Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
