I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize