Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize