I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize