He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
