I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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