when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Randomize
