she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
